Change live style:25 regrets at the end of life is a book written by a Japanese doctor Shūichi Ōtsu, who’s job is taking care of people will pass aways soon.
I read it, because I want to reduce those regrets as much as possible. When I die, I can die with smile and say goodbye to everyone and to this beautiful world.I do not want to let my relatives see my tears when I die and I also do not want to take some bad mood to die.
I know, there must be more than 25 things people will regret when they pass away. But the 25 things this book saying are really representative.
And now, I am experiencing one of them, will make me regret when I die.So I attach much importance to it.I put it as the most important thing in my life’s current phase.
I love a Vietnamese girl and she loves me too.I know our love is very pure, because we do not need other’s some material things.We both live well in our own country.We have our own family, our own job, our own friends…What we want are each other’s miss, care and love.
At this love’s beginning, I think we both do well, or I can say amazing.We expressed our love bravely to each other, we created many chances to meet each other, we give each other much more care, we keep our loyalty to each other, etc.
Nowadays, we meet a problem, trust problem, because coming from my fear, and growing up by my fear too.The reason was claimed in the previous posts.And in this essay, I will not say it again. It is not because I am afraid to face it, it because once we say it, it will hurt my love once.I know I have sin and I am a criminal, so once I admit it, I am also hated by myself.I know I should suffer it.
What I want to say now, is my love.Although I made mistake to my love, but this is not betray, and it comes from my original fear.My love, is purest.My loyalty to my love, is undoubted.Nhung said once:”love is love, lie is lie”. Yes, it is right.My love is so pure and I love Nhung very much.So, I really do not want to regret when I die, when I remember this love.
These days, I also repented and reflected on myself. I know I made a mistake, I have sin. But I am selfish, I still want to chase my love.I also want to rebuild our trust. I also want to get Nhung.It makes me struggled. Now I know someone in the jail, what does they think about.You have no excuse to find, because it is your fault.But you are mortal, you made mistake maybe because some not so bad reason.But you still caused some bad influence to someone.And now you are in jail.But you want to be a good man, want to be a better man…
So, I want to be a better man, and the most important thing is, I love Nhung but I was scared, so I made a mistake, and the mistake is not about betray.Because I love Nhung, so I can say this and want her love so die to shame…I do not want to regret when I die in the future. When I think about this love, I want to smile, not regret. I want to see my wife’s picture and smile when I die.